Sitting here at 3:00 am the night after thanksgiving battling between beginning a career in writing and watching a Predator bootleg, I have to wonder, “Is this really what I want to do?” Because so far this seems much more depressing than elegant. This can’t be it can it? Eating reheated 2 day old pizza (the night after Thanksgiving, shows you just how depressing) while searching online how to begin a career in writing with no experience or degree? No of course not! If I already had a career in writing why on earth would I be looking up how to start a career in writing? Oh how naïve I was 4 minutes ago. Of course this is the life! Unless you write an award winning novel that gets turned into a movie or show this is probably it, and for some of us, even if we do, this is probably still it, simply on a grander scale. Take one look at George R.R. Martin and tell me he didn’t recently have a night just like this reheating 2 day old pizza, I dare you.
The solitude isn’t a huge problem, honestly it’s really one of the best parts. Crunching keyboards in a room full of other people doesn’t sound too romantic. It’s the allure of being the lone writer with great ideas that attracts most of us isn’t it? A night alone with a cup of coffee (or glass of wine) after spending the day running errands and socializing in the real world. Zoom the camera out past the bushes in front of the window to a shadowy mysterious figure watching our protagonist! Oh no I’ve already seen this one and this doesn’t go well!
Yeah, I have ADHD too. I think when you purchase a writer that is the transmission kit that comes stock. It really is like driving a car and someone else having control of your shifter. Press on the gas all you want someone else just put it in park. Sometimes he puts it on drive, so you let go of the break to see if it really is on drive and as you feel the idle speed you feel hopeful. So now you start pressing on the gas slowly and you start to smile. You put the windows down and start feeling more comfortable you get up on the highway and now you’re feeling more than just comfortable. You’re at peak confidence, “Finally!” you think to yourself, “I can finally get on with my life and everything is going my way!” and then you blink. At first you may not even realize anything has changed you’re fiddling with the stereo or ac. You look in the center console for your sunglasses and you put them on and you look up and that’s when you realize; you’re in reverse now, and maybe you are still on the highway but this definitely wasn’t the way you were going.
Is this the life of a writer? Yeah probably. It’s just a hobby right now from a wannabe writer but I have a sneaking suspicion that this is a day in the life of most writers. When you’re not searching how to break in and trying to watch Predator, you’re searching how to break out and trying to binge some Netflix show, or how to get rid of writer’s block and trying to find something to watch that might also get rid of your writer’s block.
So if it’s not as elegant as I thought it would be why do I continue on? Honestly, because we all want to think it’ll all be better once “x” is met don’t we? Oh well, maybe this will get published and it’ll all be better.
P.S. No hard feelings G.R.R. you’re the best right now and definitely my favorite living author, well, you and David Thorne for some reason.
P.S.S. If you're wondering about the title I had that song stuck in my head and just made sense.
